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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209189">Let Your Heart Be Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/samanthaswishes/pseuds/samanthaswishes'>samanthaswishes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 Days of SHIELDmas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Baby Fic, Big Brother Mack, Christmas, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Other, Panic Attacks, Parent Melinda May, References to Depression, References to Miscarriage, mama may</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:34:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/samanthaswishes/pseuds/samanthaswishes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Daisy struggles with being a mother ten months after the birth of her youngest child. May and Mack seem to be the ones to help her out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alphonso ''Mack'' Mackenzie &amp; Skye | Daisy Johnson, Melinda May &amp; Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 Days of SHIELDmas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let Your Heart Be Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: a brief description of a panic attack and mention of miscarriage and depression</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Christmas 2027</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Another year, another Christmas at the Lighthouse. </p><p>The children all played together, and the parents sat together in the common area, discussing their year and reuniting. After everything they've been through together, they were happy that they finally made it to a time where they didn't feel like the world was going to end.</p><p>This year was a special Christmas. This was little Eleanor Mackenzie Johnson's, who was now ten months old, first Christmas. </p><p>Eleanor's birth was a special one because she was the tenth child born into the family as well as, and most likely, the last child to be born in the family as all the parents have made it clear that they were done. It was also a crazy year for the families.</p><p>Ellie had complications when she was born. Her heart rate was abnormal, causing her to not get enough oxygen when she was born. The doctors believed that this could cause serious brain damage to her. She also had some umbilical cord complications that also disrupted her blood as well as her growth, especially in her lungs. She came out smaller than most babies at full term, just barely making it to five pounds. Eleanor had to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks before her parents could take her home. Even after that, Daisy and Daniel took precautions by waiting another week before any of the team members could meet her. Thankfully, at three weeks old, baby Ellie was able to meet the rest of her family. Doctors told her parents that she may have complications as she got older, but right now, she was a happy baby.</p><p>Once again, the Johnson family was the last family to arrive at the Lighthouse; however, it was due to having a new baby rather than coming back from a space mission this time around. They put their stuff in their rooms before meeting their family in the common room.</p><p>Michael and Lillianne joined all their cousins as Daisy and Daniel, with Ellie in his arms, went over to join the adults.</p><p>"Oh, let me see my little goddaughter!" Elena exclaimed upon seeing the baby in Daniel's arms. Daniel passed her to Yoyo, and Eleanor smiled as she was now in her Auntie 'Lena's arms. "Oh look how much you've grown, little one!"</p><p>"17 pounds, 4 ounces now," Daniel said.</p><p>"You're gonna have to stop growing, Ellie," Mack said, softly putting the back of his hand against her cheek. "Next thing, you'll be Alya's age."</p><p>"God, I hope not," Daisy said, greeting Mack with a hug and kissing her daughter's cheek. "I want her to stay little forever. I swear, it's like the twins are six going on sixteen."</p><p>"1st grade that different from kindergarten?" Mack asked.</p><p>Daisy nodded. "Apparently. Mikey's already moved to calling us mom and dad instead of momma, mommy, dada, or daddy."</p><p>"Lilly still calls us that though," Daniel added. "She seems to be not in such a rush to grow up like Michael."</p><p>"Oh, dear," Elena said. "I hope Francisco doesn't try to grow up too fast. He only just started kindergarten this year."</p><p>"He's your guys' kid. I'm sure he'll be just fine," Daisy added. "How is he doing anyway? I know he's one of, if not the youngest in his grade."</p><p>"He's actually doing really well," Mack answered. "Parent-teacher conferences were just recently, and his teacher said that he was one of the top students of his class."</p><p>"Wow, that's great!"</p><p>"You know, I think they said the same thing about Lillianne and Michael last year." Daisy thought about it. "Maybe having your parents be SHIELD agents really pays off."</p><p>Daisy, Mack, Yoyo, and Daniel all laughed on the subject. "Especially if your aunt and uncle or Fitzsimmons," Mack added. They all nodded in agreement. "Has this little one mumbled out any words lately?"</p><p>Daisy smiled as she looked towards her baby girl. "Come on, Ellie. Say it"</p><p>Daniel looked towards Eleanor and spoke to her. "Eleanor, if you love your father, you would say what I want you to say."</p><p>"M... Mmm... Muh... Muh," Ellie mumbled out.</p><p>"That's right, baby girl!" Daisy said, clapping her hands together. "Momma! That's me."</p><p>"Eh, that's probably just your usual baby babble," Daniel said. "Her first word is definitely going to be dada."</p><p>"I doubt it," Daisy said, taking the baby from Elena. "Who spends more time breastfeeding her in the middle of the night?" They all shared another laugh.</p><p>Suddenly, Mack and Yoyo's now two-year-old daughter came running up to them. "Mamá! Papá! Look!" The toddler held up a crayon drawing she had just finished.</p><p>"Wow, Penelope," Mack said, holding the drawing in his hand. "This is really good."</p><p>"It's the family! See! This is you, me, Mamá, Coco, and Auntie Daisy, this is you," Penelope said, pointing to each of the scribbles on the paper.</p><p>"Wow, sweetie, that looks really good. Maybe you'll be an artist one day," Daisy said.</p><p>"What about me, Penelope?" Daniel asked, pretending to be offended.</p><p>"I'm not done with it, Uncle Danny," she replied. Penelope grabbed the drawing from her father before returning to the area where she was drawing.</p><p>Eleanor began to whine from Daisy's arms and reaching towards where Penelope went. "I think some else wants to become an artist too," Daniel said, taking his daughter from his wife.</p><p>"Daniel, are you sure?" Daisy asked, a little apprehensive. "She can barely hold a spoon properly," she practically whispered.</p><p>"Hey, this could be good practice for her motor skills." Daniel left and joined Penelope at the little table with all the drawing supplies. He had Ellie propped up in his lap as he put a crayon in her hand. Ellie giggled as she scribbled on the paper.</p><p>Mack and Yoyo joined the others as Daisy continued to watch her daughter. It was then that May came up to her. </p><p>"Were you just not going to say hi?" May asked, taking Daisy into a hug.</p><p>"Oh, no, May, sorry. Hi!" Daisy said, returning the hug. May raised an eyebrow as she began to let go of Daisy. "What?"</p><p>"Something going on?"</p><p>"What?" Daisy asked. She then realized the slight sadness in her own voice. "Oh, um, no. Nothing's wrong. Everything's great."</p><p>May didn't quite believe her surrogate daughter but decided not to push. If something was truly bothering Daisy, she would come to her, right?</p>
<hr/><p>After a few more hours, festivities picked up. Dinner was served and all the kids were playing once again. All the adults had their fun passing around Ellie, adoring the newest member of the family. May and Mack watched from the counters as Daisy and Bobbi sat together on the couch as Bobbi held Ellie. "I don't understand how you and Daniel have such adorable children."</p><p>"Yes, I know, Daniel and I make some pretty cute babies," Daisy teased. "But come on, you and Hunter didn't do too bad yourselves with Isabelle and Damien."</p><p>Bobbi smiled as she watched her eight-year-old daughter and four-year-old son play with the other kids. "I guess you're right."</p><p>Suddenly, Eleanor began whining in Bobbi's arms. After three babies, Daisy knew exactly which cry she was giving. "I think someone's getting tired," Daisy said, taking her daughter. "I'm gonna go feed her then try to put her to bed. Keyword try."</p><p>"Do you want me to get Daniel for you?" Bobbi asked as Daisy got up with the baby.</p><p>"No," Daisy replied immediately. "Um, no, I mean. I'm fine." Daisy then walked towards the bunks to put her daughter to sleep.</p><p>May let out a large sigh as Daisy walked by. "You okay?" Mack asked, noticing May's change in demeanor. May nodded as she continued to look in the direction Daisy left. "She feels off to you?"</p><p>May nodded once again. "I felt it when I first greeted her earlier, but I didn't think much of it."</p><p>"I knew something was up," Mack added. "What did you feel exactly?"</p><p>"Uncertainty, anxiety, but mostly shame."</p><p>"Should we check on her?"</p><p>May was silent for a few seconds before speaking up again. "Let's wait for a few minutes. If she's not back in, say, fifteen minutes, we can go check on her."</p>
<hr/><p>Daisy walked up and down the halls, trying to get Eleanor to fall asleep. She tried humming, even softly singing a little, but nothing seemed to get the baby to go to sleep. "Come on, Ellie," Daisy practically begged. "Can you please go to sleep for momma?"</p><p>Ellie was still rather whiny, even after eating. <i>Maybe I should have had Daniel put you to sleep. He usually does a better job anyway,</i> Daisy thought to herself. Ellie let out another whined cry, causing Daisy to take another deep breath, trying to keep her own emotions in check.</p><p>"Daisy?" Mack called as he walked up to her with May by his side. "Everything alright?"</p><p>"Um, yeah, why?"</p><p>"You were gone a while," May replied. "We just wanted to make sure you were alright."</p><p>"A while? I've only been here, like, ten minutes." Daisy was beginning to get confused.</p><p>"Daisy," May sighed. "It's been half an hour."</p><p>"What?" Daisy frantically got her phone out from her back pocket to check the time. They were right. She had left to put the baby to sleep around 6:45, and it was a little after 7:15. "Oh."</p><p>"Daisy, is everything alright?" Mack asked. He noticed Eleanor had not fallen asleep. "Do you want me to-"</p><p>"No!" Daisy affirmed. "I can do this on my own!"</p><p>"Well, it just seems like you're having a little trouble right now and-"</p><p>"I'm fine!" Daisy shouted. Her breathing started to become a little erratic.</p><p>"Mack," May said in an authoritative voice. "Take the baby now."</p><p>Mack didn't ask any questions when he leaned in to take Eleanor into his arms. Daisy began to sink to the floor, her head in her hands.</p><p>May went down with her. "Daisy, breathe with me. Breathe in for three, let it out for three." May helped Daisy to get her breathing back to normal for a few minutes before Daisy finally began to relax a little. The tears that followed were no surprise. "Daisy, we're here for you, always. Please tell us what's going on."</p><p>"I'm a terrible mom," she blurted out.</p><p>"What?" Mack asked. "I believe that's far from the truth."</p><p>"You were so great with the twins," May added. "You're still great with the twins."</p><p>"That's because the twins were easy." Daisy continued to sob on the floor. "They weren't born with any complications that could affect their entire lives!"</p><p>May and Mack looked to each other. Daisy often blamed herself for the complications Ellie had at birth. Both of them were her biggest emotional support when Ellie was first born, so they knew what was going through her mind.</p><p>"Daisy, that wasn't your fault."</p><p>"I should have stayed on strict bed rest like the doctor said," Daisy continued to ramble.</p><p>"Daisy, that's not-"</p><p>"It's even worse when you realize Eleanor's our fourth baby and not our third-"</p><p>"That wasn't your fault!" May exclaimed.</p><p>"Wait, what?!" Mack asked, hearing this for the first time.</p><p>Daisy stopped rambling and took a breath. "When the twins were around three, I got pregnant. We didn't tell anyone because we wanted to wait until I was in my second trimester. I only made it to ten weeks before I had a miscarriage."</p><p>Mack was practically speechless. He remembered a time around that time when Daisy and Daniel both requested time off but didn't give a reason as to why. Now, he understood why, but he had wished he had known so he could've helped them out in any way possible.</p><p>He turned to May, who wasn't as shocked about it. "You knew?"</p><p>"I found out that night. Daniel called in the middle of the night asking me to watch the twins before rushing Daisy to the hospital," May answered.</p><p>"Tremors, I'm so sorry," Mack said. "But May's right. That couldn't have possibly been your fault."</p><p>"But what if whatever killed that baby made my pregnancy with Ellie so hard and caused her to have all these complications?"</p><p>"Daisy, these things can happen," May said, comforting her. "Sometimes there's nothing you can do to stop it. Do you understand that?" Daisy nodded as she listened to May's voice. "Plus, we've seen that Eleanor's a fighter."</p><p>"I just... I feel like she's not meeting the milestones at correct times."</p><p>"Well, Daniel did say she is seventeen pounds now," Mack said, trying to look on the positive side. "That's bigger than the five pounds she was at birth."</p><p>"But she's still below the average for a ten-month-old girl," Daisy said. "And around this time, the twins were starting to stand up and walk, and she's still barely crawling. Not to mention we haven't even transitioned her to bottles yet. Daniel's also probably right about the baby babble."</p><p>"Hey," May said. "Babies usually start walking between eleven and fifteen months. I guess the twins were just early. Also, I've seen kids over a year old still be breastfed. I assure you, you're doing everything right with her."</p><p>"I think what you're experiencing is post-partum depression," Mack said. "Yoyo suffered from it for a couple months after Francisco was born."</p><p>"But it's been ten months, Mack."</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders. "I've seen agents come back from maternity leave that has had it for a year before it began to go away. I'm sure there's no limit as to how you feel about things."</p><p>May noticed Daisy had calmed down quite a bit and held a hand out to help her up from the ground. Once Daisy was standing, May motioned for Mack to hand Ellie back to Daisy. Once back in her mother's arms, Eleanor gave a little smile.</p><p>"Hey, there's a couple of teeth," Mack said, pointing to the couple of teeth that had sprouted from the infant's gums. "That seems right on track. I'm sure teething has been as much as of a pain in the ass as it usually is."</p><p>"Don't use those words in front of my child, Director Mackenzie," Daisy teased. Mack laughed, glad to see Daisy back to normal.</p><p>"You know what I see?" May asked. "I see a perfectly happy and healthy baby with an amazing mom."</p><p>Daisy smiled as she looked down at her baby. "That's my baby girl," she whispered before pressing a kiss on her forehead. After a few more minutes, Eleanor drifted off to sleep, peacefully,  in her mother's arms. Mack opened the door for Daisy as she put Ellie in the travel bassinet. "Sweet dreams, my little fighter."</p>
<hr/><p>Daisy, Mack, and May rejoined the group as they all surrounded the tree. Starting that year, they had the kids do a gift exchange. At the beginning of the month, each kid was assigned one cousin that they had to get a gift for. All the kids laughed together as they opened the gifts from each other. This was a tradition they all knew the kids would continue to do as they got older.</p><p>Daisy took her seat next to Daniel as they watched Michael and Lillianne gave gifts to Alya and Penelope while receiving gifts from Damien and Christopher.</p><p>Daniel placed his arm around her as she cuddled close to him. "You alright?" he asked.</p><p>Daisy nodded. "Yeah," she replied, a little more relaxed than earlier. "I'm glad we have this family together."</p><p>Daniel placed a kiss on her head. "Me too."</p>
<hr/><p>The next morning, the kids all came running out after being woken up by Papa Coulson and Nana May once again. Daisy smiled as she walked to May to retrieve her daughter. </p><p>Upon spotting Daisy, Eleanor reached out for her mother. "Momma!"</p><p>Everyone froze, especially Daisy. "Did she just..." Hunter asked.</p><p>"Dang it," Daniel said. "That was a clear-as-day momma."</p><p>"And she knows it's her momma too," Jemma squealed. </p><p>"Ellie said her first word!" Lilly exclaimed. </p><p>Daisy, still speechless, took Ellie from May. "That's right, baby girl. I'm your momma."</p><p>"Momma!" she repeated again, seeing as it made her momma smile whenever she said it.</p><p>"Hey, I think this is the earliest any of the kids have begun to talk," Coulson said. "Unless there was something Alya or Bella said at or before ten months."</p><p>Bobbi and Hunter both shook their heads as Fitz spoke up. "Alya didn't say her first word until a couple of weeks before her first birthday."</p><p>"And what was her first word?" Mack asked. "I don't think you ever mentioned it."</p><p>"I was hoping and practically grooming her to say dada," Fitz grumbled. "But it was Enoch."</p><p>The group let out a laugh at the thought of Fitz's face when his first-born daughter saying 'Enoch' before 'dada'. After a few more minutes of getting coffee and taking seats, it was time to open presents. Once again, the kids tore through the wrapping paper like a tornado. </p><p>Daisy held Ellie close and smiled. "You see that, baby?" she cooed. "You were born into such an amazing family. You get to grow up being surrounded by people that love you and care about you and will never let you go through life alone." Ellie giggled as her mother spoke.</p><p>"Merry first Christmas, baby girl. I love you so much."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mama May and Big Brother Mack give me life. </p><p>Thanks for reading!</p><p>Also, "Uh Oh" by Chloe Wang aka Chloe Bennet is a bop and is a great song to listen to while writing an almost 3,000 word fanfic😂😉</p></blockquote></div></div>
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